New year New me
Updated: Jun 18, 2019
I write this the day before my 35th birthday. It will share some light for the ones that need it. So here it goes.....
Do you know how special you are? No really do you? Do you know what makes you unique and unlike anyone else? Do you know your gifts? The gifts that give you your purpose here on this earth?
Seven years ago I didn't have a clue. I completely lost myself trying to be like everyone else. Trying to make everyone else happy or proving myself to them. Instead of me.
You want to know the first thing I did to change that? I thought about the last memory when I was truly enjoying myself in a good way. A non toxic way. And that was crafting. I was sitting at the kitchen table on my reserve at home beading on a loom at the kitchen table. I begged my mom for one. So,in my late 20s I YouTubed a video of how to bead and I started there. And I sat in my mom's basement beading for hours. And I mean hours. Just like I did as a kid.
I also went to every social I could find. Dancing made me feel so good. Not just any dancing. Dancing to the music of our ancestors. I would catch rides back and forth to any social I could find. And from there that led me to my spirit name. Because I wanted to know more about ceremony and I submerged myself in cultural activities and that gave me a sense of my identity. It helped me to find who I truly was.
We don't figure things out right away. We are always looking for a finish line. But that finish line doesn't exsist until we leave this world. I've learned to trust the process. There is a quote that I always remember, "Trust the process divorce the results".I don't know who said it to me but it stuck. So I live in the moment and keep that in my head because life is a journey not a destination.
As I walk into the next chapter of my life. I lead with my heart and found my voice. I have learned that I have forgotten to take care of that little girl inside of me and that it's ok to say no and to set boundaries. I have learned that I have a higher vision of where I want to be and not everyone will be there to walk it with me. Some people are only meant to stay for awhile to teach you something.And you can only save yourself the rest is up to them.
So my msg to all the people that feel lost on their path. Don't forget who you are. Know that you have a light inside of you that is waiting to be ignited. Take care of that little one that is still inside of you.Because he or she is still there. And don't ever give up on yourself!
You can create a new you but mostly a renewed you.
When we are born we go through life and experience trauma and we lose ourselves along the way. But life is about choice. And you can choose you, and I can choose me. And it's not selfish. Its the most brave and courageous thing you can possibly do for you, your family and your community. So keep going! You totally got this!! I believe in you!